I'll Be Very Busy, Which Is All

Silence Means They [the Audience] Are Paying Attention. Even If I Drop Bombs And They're Dead Quiet, It's Still Okay. If They Start Talking, That's When You've Lost Them.

Katey Sagal, You Are An Incredible Actress. You Worked On ‘married With Children,’ The Show That Changed Comedy, ‘sons Of Anarchy,’ The Show That Took Comedy To A Whole New Level And ‘8 Simple Rules,’ The Show That Killed John Ritter.

I Think My Friends Wife Has Been Banging A Black Guy. Because They Just Had A Baby. And The Baby Had A Hole In It.

I'm Not A Comedy Writer, I'm A Comedian, So I Only Write Stuff That I Would Want To Say.

Comedy Central Made Me Delete The Boston Marathon Joke. I Wasn't Happy About It But, Despite Popular Belief, I Can Occasionally Be A Team Player.