I'm Not A Comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

The Crooks Downtown Figured Out That Comedy Is Like A Hammer. It Can Put Up A Barn And It Can Knock Down A Wall. So They Bought It Outright And Marketed It As Comedy Central.

Marijuana Will Be Legal Some Day, Because The Many Law Students Who Now Smoke Pot Will Someday Become Congressmen And Legalize It In Order To Protect Themselves.

There's A Lot Of Money In Wars, Except In The War On Poverty. Can't Make Any Bread Helping The Poor.

The Only Honest Art Form Is Laughter, Comedy. You Can't Fake It... Try To Fake Three Laughs In An Hour - Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha - They'll Take You Away, Man. You Can't.

Trying To Figure Things Out Was My Gig. Without The Human Condition, There's No Struggle, No Pain And That Means No Laughter.