I'm Known For My Slightly Inappropriate Remarks.

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'

Some Comedians Tell Nice Jokes That You Can Tell To Your Kids. Some Use Bad Words - They Work 'blue.' If You Don't Want To Hear A Joke That's Blue, You Shouldn't Go To A Comedy Club Where A Comedian Who Makes Blue Jokes Is Performing.

You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

I Predict One Of These Two Teams Will Win The Super Bowl.

I'm Used To Explaining To People Why My Jokes Were Funny.