I'm Known For My Slightly Inappropriate Remarks.

At The Last Supper How Come No One Sat On The Other Side Of The Table? See, I Think Originally There Were People Sitting On The Other Side But Those Were The People Going, You Know, The Air Conditioning Hits Me Right On The Back On The Neck.

Every Time I Give A Straight Answer And Read It In A Magazine, I Say, 'ouch.' One Day I'd Like To Talk To A Psychoanalyst About Why Celebrities Reveal So Much Of Themselves In Interviews.

A Man Goes To The Doctor For A Check, And The Doctor Exams Him And Says I've Got Bad News, You've Got Cancer And Alzheimers. The Man Goes Thank God I Don't Have Cancer.

If The Police Ever Try To Pick Me Up, Michael Jackson Told Me I Can Hide Out At His House.

Back When Jerry Seinfeld Was Just Another Comedian Hanging Around The Clubs, I'd Imitate Him To Amuse Myself And The Other Comics. The Club Owners Would Say, 'what Are You Doing That For? Nobody Knows Him.'