If Someone Else Is Paying For It,

I Personally Think Miles Davis Is A Lot Funnier Than Me. And He's Working More.

Unfortunately, I've Never Been Mistaken As Johnny Depp.

Some Comedians Tell Nice Jokes That You Can Tell To Your Kids. Some Use Bad Words - They Work 'blue.' If You Don't Want To Hear A Joke That's Blue, You Shouldn't Go To A Comedy Club Where A Comedian Who Makes Blue Jokes Is Performing.

I Used To Go To The Improvisation Comedy Club Every Night In Times Square. How I Didn't Get Killed In That Area Either Means That 1) God Is Watching Over Me Or 2) I Am So Insignificant To God That He Didn't Bother Having Me Killed.

If The Police Ever Try To Pick Me Up, Michael Jackson Told Me I Can Hide Out At His House.