I'm At The Age Now Where Just

Well, Anybody Can Be A Straight Man If He Hears Well. You Just Have To Wait For Laughs. A Straight Man Just Repeats The Questions And The Comedian Gets The Laughs And You Just Wait For Them And Don't Let Them Die Completely At The Tail End Of The Laugh.

I Thought To Myself, 'why Not Write A Bestseller?' In The First Place, More People Buy Them And More People Read Them. You Make More Money And It Doesn’t Take Any More Time To Write A Bestseller Than It Does To Write A Book Nobody Buys.

And God Said 'let There Be Satan, So People Don't Blame Everything On Me. And Let There Be Lawyers, So People Don't Blame Everything On Satan.'

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.

How Did I Ever Get Sick? I've Already Had Everything.