I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And

As You Know Now, Rush Limbaugh Is The New Face Of The Republican Party, But They'll Probably Go With A Different Body.

Father's Day: When You Get That Lethal Combination Of Alcohol And New Power Tools.

I Vote Democrat Because I Believe That Businesses Should Not Be Allowed To Make Profits For Themselves. They Need To Break Even And Give The Rest Away To The Government For Redistribution As The Democrat Party Sees Fit.

Fifteen Years Ago Tomorrow I Had Open Heart Surgery, A Quintuple Bypass Surgery. Thanks To All Of My Doctors. Because Of Them, In 15 Years Of Life I've Been Able To Experience, Well, Acid Reflux, Short-term Memory Loss, And Erectile Dysfunction. Thanks For All Your Work. It's Great To Be Alive.

There Are A Lot Of New York City Thanksgiving Traditions. For Example, A Lot Of New Yorkers Don't Buy The Frozen Thanksgiving Turkey. They Prefer To Buy The Bird Live And Then Push It In Front Of A Subway Train.