I'm A Wiseass And A Smartass, And

George W. Said He Doesn't Watch Television. And, Of Course, Well - The Reason For That Is The Clintons Stole The White House Satellite System.

John Kerry Spent The Day Reading To Preschoolers ... And The Kids Said Kerry Actually Lacked Warmth And Failed To Articulate A Clear Message.

I Always Liked Mitt Romney. He Looks Like The Salesman Who Follows You Around At Brooks Brothers.

If You Didn’t Believe It Before — And It’s Easy To Understand How You Might Have Been Sceptical On This Point — If You Didn’t Believe It Before, You Can Absolutely Believe It Now: New York City Is The Greatest City In The World.

Yesterday Was Election Day. If We Have Any Democrats In The Audience, I'm Sorry But You're Going To Have To Give Up Your Seats.