People Say New Yorkers Can't Get Along.

I Wish The Iphone People Would Design One That's Black And Has Two Pieces, And It Plugs Into The Wall And You Can Pick One Piece Up And Talk Into It. I Tell You, The Whole Time I Had One Of Those Old-fashioned Plug-in Phones, Not Once Did I Misplace It.

A Pair Of Ruby Red Slippers Worn By Judy Garland In The Wizard Of Oz Have Been Stolen. The Thief Is Described As Being Armed And Fabulous.

Congratulations To Ohio State, Your New College Football Champions. Coach Urban Meyer May Be The Greatest Football Coach Of All Time. Don't Confuse Him With New York Mayor Bill De Blasio. That's Urban Quagmire.

President Obama Is In China. Also In China Is Evil Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin. They're Both In China At The Same Time. It's Like Running Into Your Ex-girlfriend On Vacation.

Next In Importance To Having A Good Aim Is To Recognize When To Pull The Trigger.