They Figured Out A Way To Control

Tim Tebow May Be Back In The Nfl With The Philadelphia Eagles. As You Remember, He Was Thrown Out Of The League When He Landed His Gyrocopter On The White House Lawn.

Here's Some News From Afghanistan. We're Sending More Troops To Seal Up The Borders. Can We Try That Here? Three Months, 12,000 Pounds Of Bombs And Billions And Billions Of Dollars And The Highest Ranking Enemy We've Captured So Far Is An American.

In Hollywood, Oscar Is King.

Prince William And Kate Middleton Are In New York City. We Have Got To Do Something About Immigration.

Donald Trump Had A University. Well, The State Attorney General Decided That The Donald Trump University Was An Unlicensed Sham. And I Thought, You Know You're At A Bad University When Your Commencement Speaker Is Whitey Bulger.