I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes.

I'm Very Romantic When I Masturbate. Sometimes I Light A Candle...then I Try And Shoot It Out. It's Like A Carnival.

The Voice In My Head Has A Stutter, And That's Really Annoying. D-d-d-dave Dave. What? K-k-k-kill Your P-p-p-parents. L-l-l-loa... Write It Down!

There's A Late-night Scene In Every Town, And Everyone Has Something Going On, ... I've Heard Good Stories About (syracuse); This Is A Very Good Party Town, A Good Drinking Place. I Definitely Would Like To Come Back And Check It Out Further. Do Some More Research, As I Call It.

I'm Not Like A Performer Type.

I Tell You One Thing That's Great About Children. They Don't Need A Show To Have Fun. What Do They Need? A Book Of Matches, Some Oily Rags, A Little Brother... That's All They Need.