I'm A Joke Comic. I Tell Jokes.

Things Have Been Invented Because Of Alcohol. Like The Taser, Okay? Yeah! The Morning After Pill, Okay? The Reach-around. Judge Judy. What Has Pot Given The World? Hackey Sack? Yeah! Hilarious Ring Tones? Oh Gah! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It Sucks To Be A Champion At A Sport That Can't Get You Laid. It's An Unneeded Skill Like, I Dunno, Being The Best Banjo Player. Or A Squirter.

I Like Doing Stand-up And I Love Putting Out Tv Specials. I'm Not An Actor Though, So I Don't Really Have Much Choice In The Matter.

When I Was A Kid, I Really Loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

A Lot Of These Kids I Think Are More Content Just To Be On Facebook And The Computer Than They Are To Actually Go Out. They Just Really Want To Get A Picture To Post To Their Buddies, And That's About It.

I Have An Imagination Because My Life Is So Boring That My Imagination Lets Me Get Off The Reality Of What's Going On.