I'll Just Have Itchy, Watery Eyes!

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Satellite Dish Payment Delays Buying School Clothes For The Kids.

If You Ever Start Feeling Like You Have The Goofiest, Craziest, Most Dysfunctional Family In The World, All You Have To Do Is Go To A State Fair. Because Five Minutes At The Fair, You'll Be Going, 'you Know, We're Alright. We Are Dang Near Royalty.'

You Might Be A Redneck If You Look Upon A Family Reunion As A Chance To Meet 'ms. Right

I've Got Nothing Against Tattoos. I Don't Have One Myself. If I Did, It Would Be Right There Next To My Watch. It Would Say "your Wife's Birthday Is August 2nd, Your Anniversary Is September 18th, Don't Let Ron White Drive Your Car Again."

You Might Be A Redneck If You Grow Vidalia Onions, Rather Than Considering Them A Gourmet Item.