If You Live To Be One Hundred,

By [age] 93, I Had Shrunk Quite A Lot. My Car Was Known As The Phantom Cadillac. People Would See It Whizzing By And They Would Swear There Was No Driver.

There Are Two Kinds Of Cruises - Pleasure And With Children.

Be Quick To Learn And Wise To Know.

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.

Tennis Is A Young Man's Game. Until You're 25, You Can Play Singles. From 25 To 35, You Should Play Doubles. I Won't Tell You Exactly How Old I Am, But When I Played, There Were 28 Men On The Court - Just On My Side Of The Net.