When I Was A Boy The Dead

From Paris We Took The Orient Express To Vienna. I Must Say I Was Terribly Disappointed; Nobody Was Murdered On The Train.

Lots Of People Have Asked Me What Gracie And I Did To Make Our Marriage Work. It's Simple - We Don't Do Anything. I Think The Trouble With A Lot Of People Is That They Work Too Hard At Staying Married. They Make A Business Out Of It. When You Work Too Hard At A Business You Get Tired; And When You Get Tired You Get Grouchy; And When You Get Grouchy You Start Fighting; And When You Start Fighting You're Out Of Business.

In Those Days The Best Painkiller Was Ice; It Wasn't Addictive And It Was Particularly Effective If You Poured Some Whiskey Over It.

I Was Always Taught To Respect My Elders And I've Now Reached The Age When I Don't Have Anybody To Respect.

Happiness? A Good Cigar, A Good Meal, A Good Cigar And A Good Woman - Or A Bad Woman; It Depends On How Much Happiness You Can Handle.