If You Had A Friend Who Was

Alcoholism Is A Disease, But It's The Only One You Can Get Yelled At For Having. Goddamn It Otto, You Are An Alcoholic. Goddamn It Otto, You Have Lupus... One Of Those Two Doesn't Sound Right.

I Tried To Freshen Up A Room, So I Held A Certs In Front Of A Fan.

I Type A 101 Words A Minute. But It's In My Own Language.

I Wanted To Get A Tape Recorder, But I Got A Parrot Instead. I Think I Did That Joke Backwards.

I Have A Sharpie. I Love Sharpies. You Know What They Say On Them? Not For Letter Writing. That Sucks. Now I Have To Communicate With My Dad Using Numbers.