If You Drink Don't Drive. Don't Even

If You Drink Don't Drive. Don't Even Putt.

Your Love Made It All Worth Waiting For Some Like You.

The Reason I Drink Is Because When I'm Sober I Think I'm Eddie Fisher.

I Take The Juice Of Two Bottles Of Whisky.

There's A Statue Of Jimmy Stewart In The Hollywood Wax Museum, And The Statue Talks Better Than He Does.