If You Could Learn To Make Love,

I Haven't Spoken To My Wife In Years. I Didn't Want To Interrupt Her.

When I Got Back Into Show Business In 1961, I Felt - For Obvious Reasons - That Nothing In My Life Went Right, And I Realized That Millions Of People Felt The Same Way. So When I First Came Back My Catch Phrase Was "nothing Goes Right." Early On, That Was My Setup For A Lot Of Jokes.

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

When My Parents Got Divorced, There Was A Custody Fight Over Me. ... And No One Showed Up.

I Tell Ya, It's Tough To Save A Buck. Right Now I'm Supporting Two Fighters. My Wife And Her Mother.