If You Could Learn To Make Love,

A Travel Agent Told I Could Spend 7 Nights In Hawaii No Days Just Nights.

A Homeless Guy Came Up To Me On The Street, Said He Hadn't Eaten In Four Days. I Told Him, "man, I Wish I Had Your Willpower.

I Tell Ya, With My Wife, I Got No Sex Life. Her Favorite Position Is Facing Bloomingdale's.

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

I'll Tell You One Thing, I Know How To Satisfy My Wife In Bed, Yeah, I Leave.