When My Old Man Wanted Sex, My

I Once Went Out With This Girl, She Was No Bargain Either, She Showed Up With Pigtails Under Her Arms.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

Everyone Says That Looks Don't Matter, Age Doesn't Matter, Money Doesn't Matter. But I Never Met A Girl Yet Who Has Fallen In Love With An Old Ugly Man Who's Broke.

When We Got Married My Wife Told Me I Was One In A Million. I Found Out She Was Right.

I Once Met A Beautiful, Proper English Girl. I Bid Her Adieu.... She Bid Me A Don't.