If I Have Caused Just One Person

(referring To The Piano's Natural Shape) Isn't It A Shame When Those Big Fat Opera Singers Lean Against The Pianos And Bend Them?

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.

He Was Happily Married - But His Wife Wasn't.

I Know [canned Music] Makes Chickens Lay More Eggs And Factory Workers Produce More. But How Much More Can They Get Out Of You On An Elevator?

I Don't Mind Growing Old. I'm Just Not Used To It.