I Learned To Play The Piano On

What Soap Is To The Body, Laughter Is To The Soul. Laughter Is The Shortest Distance Between Two People.

I Don't Mind Going Back To Daylight Saving Time. With Inflation, The Hour Will Be The Only Thing I've Saved All Year.

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

I Wish To Thank My Parents For Making It All Possible? And I Wish To Thank My Children For Making It Necessary.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.