If I Could Pick My Wife By

I Like Getting Toilet Paper Thrown At Me.

Instead Of Going Out And Shooting People, Why Don't You Go Start A Band.

I Believe Everyone On This Planet Deserves Equal Rights To Their Own Pursuit Of Happiness.

I Was Just In The Middle Of Singing A Song About How Broke We Were And Now My Cell Phone Rings.

If I Could Pick My Wife By Name, It'd Be Whitney. That Name Just Sounds Right