If He'd Been English Or Swedish, He'd

For All His Horses, Knighthoods And Championships, He Hasn't Got Two Of What I've Got. And I Don't Mean Balls!

Beckham? His Wife Can't Sing And His Barber Can't Cut Hair.

They Love Me For What I'm Not They Hate Me For What I Am.

I Like My Women To Be Feminine, Not Sliding Into Tackles And Covered In Mud.

Being Thick Isn't An Affliction If You're A Footballer, Because Your Brains Need To Be In Your Feet. And Beckham Works Hard, He's Brave And He Crosses A Ball Superbly. He Treats A Football Like He Does A Wife, Lovingly, With Caresses.