A Woman Went To A Plastic Surgeon

Victoria Beckham Is So Nasty, Why Doesn't She Just Go Home?! Her Dresses Are Beautiful, But I Don't Care What She Does. She's Mean To All The People Around Her. She's Too Short To Be A Diva. We All Use The Same Hairdressers, Make-up Artists, Limo-drivers And Greeters At The Airports In La And Nobody Has Anything Nice To Say About Her. They Say She's Rude. She Can't Always Just Be Having A Bad Day.

My Breasts Are So Low, Now I Can Have A Mammogram And A Pedicure At The Same Time.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.

Our Natures Are A Lot Like Oil, Mix Us With Anything Else, And We Strive To Swim On Top.

Looking 50 Is Great, If You're 60.