"i Wouldn't Go Over Here To Lisa

I Think We All In Comedi Business, Especially When We Reach A Certain Age, Are Divas Up To A Point. I Love When A Limousine Comes For Me, I Can't Lie About That. I Love When You Go To A Restaurant And They Say, "come This Way, Miss Rivers," And You Get A Good Table. I Love All That, The Perks That Come With The Business.

When My Husband Edgar And I Were Courting, He Said He Couldn't Wait To Have A Baby. It Was Only After We Were Married That He Changed His Mind And Decided That I Should Have The Baby.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.

Learn What Not To Expect. Irish Catholic They Get Sh**** Little Rings. Irish Women Get Crappy Rings. Baptist Get The Worst Because They Get The Rings Under Water. When It Comes Up, It's Garbage. Jewish, Big Rings. Episcopalian Big Rings. Italians-the Best, Because They Get Them Off Of Dead People, And Second Wives Get The Biggest Rings Of All.

You Don’t Marry For Love. What Does Love Got To Do With Marriage? I Spit On Love And Marriage. You Marry For Money.