I Would Much Prefer To Be A

The Garden Of Eden Was A Boggy Swamp Just South Of Croydon. You Can See It Over There.

Playing Rugby At School I Once Fell On A Loose Ball And, Through Ignorance And Fear, Held On Despite A Fierce Pummelling. After That It Took Me Months To Convince My Team-mates I Was A Coward.

I Didn't Know Dirty Words Could Be Done That Artfully.

All Right, You Great Git, You've Asked For It. I'll Cover The World In Tastee-freez And Wimpy Burgers. I'll Fill It With Concrete Runways, Motorways, Aircraft, Television, Automobiles, Advertising, Plastic Flowers, Frozen Food And Supersonic Bangs. I'll Make It So Noisy And Disgusting That Even You'll Be Ashamed Of Yourself! No Wonder You've So Few Friends; You're Unbelievable!

If There's One Thing I Can't Bear, It's When Hundreds Of Old Men Come Creeping In Through The Window In The Middle Of The Night And Throw All Manner Of Garbage Over Me. I Can't Bear That.