Now I Tell You The Downside Of

I Could Have Been A Judge, But I Never Had The Latin For The Judgin'. I Never Had It, So I'd Had It, As Far As Being A Judge Was Concerned... I Would Much Prefer To Be A Judge Than A Coal Miner Because Of The Absence Of Falling Coal.

We Exchanged Many Frank Words In Our Respective Languages.

If There's One Thing I Can't Bear, It's When Hundreds Of Old Men Come Creeping In Through The Window In The Middle Of The Night And Throw All Manner Of Garbage Over Me. I Can't Bear That.

I Saw An Advertisement The Other Day For The Secret Of Life. It Said "the Secret Of Life Can Be Yours For Twenty-five Shillings. Sent To Secret Of Life Institute, Willesden." So I Wrote Away, Seemed A Good Bargain, Secret Of Life, Twenty-five Shillings. And I Got A Letter Back Saying, "if You Think You Can Get The Secret Of Life For Twenty-five Shillings, You Don't Deserve To Have It. Send Fifty Shillings For The Secret Of Life."

All In All I'd Rather Have Been A Judge Than A Miner. And What's More, Being A Miner, As Soon As You Are Too Old And Tired And Sick And Stupid To Do The Job Properly, You Have To Go. Well, The Very Opposite Applies With Judges. *