I Wish I Had Played Team Sports.

Homemade Sweaters Are Always Itchy.

I Know A Lot About A Few Things - Mostly Useless Things.

I'd Rather Call Myself A Mischief-maker, An Imp, Rather Than A Satirist. Satirist Sounds So Self Important. Plus No One Is Calling Himself An Imp Right Now. It Makes Me Feel Special.

I Wish I Had Played Team Sports. I Think Every Kid Should. Teamwork Builds Character - Teaches People About Leadership And Cooperation.

Think Of All That Hard Work Our Founding Fathers Put In - The Revolutionizing, The Three-fifths Compromising, Having To Write The Entire Constitution With A Quill - And Yet They Neglected To Include The Right To Vote.