I Was So Ugly My Mother Used

Once I Pulled A Job, I Was So Stupid. I Picked A Guy's Pocket On An Airplane And Made A Run For It.

She Was So Fat That Her Bikini Is Made Out Of Two Bed Sheets (king-size).

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

I'm At The Age Where Food Has Taken The Place Of Sex In My Life. In Fact, I've Just Had A Mirror Put Over My Kitchen Table.