I Was Going To Buy My Girl

Modesty Is My Best Quality.

Age Is Strictly A Case Of Mind Over Matter. If You Don't Mind, It Doesn't Matter.

When Another Comedian Has A Lousy Show, I'm The First One To Admit It.

I Practice Three Hours Daily On My Violin So I Won't Get Worse.

My Wife Mary And I Have Been Married For Forty-seven Years And Not Once Have We Had An Argument Serious Enough To Consider Divorce; Murder, Yes, But Divorce, Never.