I Was Going To Buy My Girl

I Practice Three Hours Daily On My Violin So I Won't Get Worse.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

I Don't Deserve This Award, But I Have Arthritis And I Don't Deserve That Either.

The Doctors Couldn't Find Anything Wrong With Me Except That I Have A Slight Stomach Pain. Wait Till I Get My Hospital Bill! Then I'll Really Have A Pain The Stomach!

As You May Or May Not Know, In Keeping With The High-class Tone Of Beverly Hills, Our Police Force Is Probably The Most Snobbish Group Of Gendarmes In The World. It Is Said That The Beverly Hills Police Department Is So Fancy That It Has An Unlisted Number.