I Practice Three Hours Daily On My

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

Give Me Golf Clubs, Fresh Air And A Beautiful Partner, And You Can Keep The Clubs And The Fresh Air.

I Was Going To Buy My Girl A Packard Car For Christmas, But It Took Too Long To Deliver, So I Bought Her Some Handkerchiefs.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.

I Was Born In Waukegan A Long, Long Time Ago. As A Matter Of Fact, Our Rabbi Was An Indian.