I Was A Christian. I Didn't Want

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

All Comedians Are A Bit Attention-seeking And I'm No Different. Anyone With The Audacity To Want To Be Listened To For An Hour And A Half Must Be.

I've Got A Friend Whose Nickname Is "shagger". You Might Think That's Pretty Cool. She Doesn't Like It.

It's So Clear Cut With A Comedian - You Have That Reflex Action, Whereby You Laugh Or You Don't. And So You Either Love Us Or You Simply Cannot See Why People Are Laughing.

After A Gig I Always Head Back To The Hotel, Remembering Granny's Words Of Wisdom. I Cancel The Late-night Pizza And Watch The Jonathan Ross Show Instead.