I Want To Get A Job Naming

If I Had A Dollar For Every Time I Said That, I'd Be Making Money In A Very Weird Way.

I Used To Drink Wine. This Girl Asked Me, "doesn't Wine Give You A Headache?" "yeah, Eventually, But The First And The Middle Part Are Amazing!"

I Think Animal Crackers Make People Think That All Animals Taste The Same.

I Went To A Heavy Metal Concert. The Singer Yelled Out, "how Many Of You People Feel Like Human Beings Tonight?" And Then He Said, "how Many Of You Feel Like Animals?" The Thing Is, Everyone Cheered After The Animals Part, But I Cheered After The Human Beings Part Because I Did Not Know There Was A Second Part To The Question.

I Have A Cheese-shredder At Home, Which Is Its Positive Name. They Don't Call It By Its Negative Name, Which Is Sponge-ruiner. Because I Wanted To Clean It, But Now I Have Little Bits Of Sponge That Would Melt Easily Over Tortilla Chips.