I Want To Get A Job Naming

I Think Bigfoot Is Blurry, That's The Problem. It's Not The Photographer's Fault. Bigfoot Is Blurry, And That's Extra Scary To Me. There's A Large, Out-of-focus Monster Roaming The Countryside. Run, He's Fuzzy, Get Out Of Here.

I Like Cinnamon Rolls, But I Don't Always Have Time To Make A Pan. That's Why I Wish They Would Sell Cinnamon Roll Incense. After All I'd Rather Light A Stick And Have My Roommate Wake Up With False Hopes.

Some Comics Get Drunk Before A Show. I Don't. When I Get Drunk, I Don't Want To Stand In Front Of A Bunch Of People That I Don't Know. That Does Not Sound Comfortable. Why Have All These People Gathered? And Why Am I Elevated And Not Facing The Same Way As Everyone Else? And What Is This Electric Stick In My Hand? I Want A Chair Too!

If I'm Out To Dinner With A Group Of Friends, And Somebody Offers To Pay For The Check, I Immediately Reach For My Wallet. Inside Is A Note That Says, "say Thanks!"

The Only Way I Could Get My Old Cd Into Stores Is If I Took One In And Leave It. "sir, You Forgot This." "no, I Did Not. That Is For Sale. Please Alphabetize It."