One Time I Was Forced To Go

If You Want To Talk To Me After The Show, I'd Be Surprised.

One Time I Stayed At A Haunted Motel. When I Checked Into My Room, There Was A Sheet On The Floor, And I Thought It Was A Ghost That Had Passed Out, So I Kicked It.

I Hate Arrows. They Try To Tell Me Which Direction To Go. It's Like "i Ain't Going That Way, Line With Two Thirds Of A Triangle On The End!"

I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I Always Lose Pens And I Got Sick Of Not Caring.

If You Find Yourself Lost In The Woods, Build A House. "well, I Was Lost, But Now I Live Here!"