One Time I Was Forced To Go

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."

I Don't Know How To Fix A Car. If The Car Breaks Down, And The Gas Tank Does Not Say "e", I'm Screwed. But If The Gas Tank Says "e", I Get All Cocky - "i've Got This One, Don't Worry." So I Get Out The Toolbox Aka Wallet.

If I Was A Locksmith, I'd Be Pimping That Out Man. I'll Trade You A Free Key Duplication For. That Joke Made Me Laugh Before I Could Finish It, Which Is Good, Because It Had No Ending.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Find That A Duck's Opinion Of Me Is Influenced By Whether Or Not I Have Bread. A Duck Loves Bread, But He Does Not Have The Capability To Buy A Loaf. That's The Biggest Joke On The Duck Ever. If I Worked At A Convenience Store, And A Duck Came In And Stole A Loaf Of Bread, I Would Let Him Go. I'd Say, "come Back Tomorrow, Bring Your Friends!" When I Think Of A Duck's Friends, I Think Of Other Ducks. But He Could Have, Say, A Beaver In Tow.