I Used To Be Indecisive But Now

'doc, I Can't Stop Singing The Green Green Grass Of Home. 'that Sounds Like Tom Jones Syndrome'. 'is It Common?' 'it's Not Unusual.'

Our Ice Cream Man Was Found Lying On The Floor Of His Van Covered With Hundreds And Thousands. Police Say That He Topped Himself.

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

A Man Walks Into Doctor's Office. "what Seems To Be The Problem?" Asks The Doc. "it's ... Um ... Well ... I Have Five Penises." Replies The Man. "blimey!" Says The Doctor, "how Do Your Trousers Fit?" "like A Glove."