So I Was In Tesco's And I

Now You Know Those Trick Candles That You Blow Out And A Couple Of Seconds Later They Come Alight Again, Well The Other Day There Was A Fire At The Factory That Makes Them.

I Went To The Doctors The Other Day And I Said, 'have You Got Anything For Wind?' So He Gave Me A Kite.

'doc, I Can't Stop Singing The Green Green Grass Of Home. 'that Sounds Like Tom Jones Syndrome'. 'is It Common?' 'it's Not Unusual.'

So A Lorry-load Of Tortoises Crashed Into A Train-load Of Terrapins, I Thought "that's A Turtle Disaster".

So I Said To This Train Driver "i Want To Go To Paris". He Said "eurostar?". I Said "i've Been On Telly But I'm No Dean Martin".