I Used Everything You Gave Me.

Grandparenthood Is One Of Life's Rewards For Surviving Your Own Children.

If I Raised My Hand To Wipe The Hair Out Of My Children's Eyes, They'd Flinch And Call Their Attorney.

I Take A Very Practical View Of Raising Children. I Put A Sign In Each Of Their Rooms: 'checkout Time Is 18 Years.'

When Children Reach The Age Of Sixteen, They Discover The Meaning Of Life: Car Keys.

Early In My Life I Had Made A Pact With Myself. I Would Never Eat Anything That Moved When I Cooked It, Excited The Dog, Or Inflated Upon Impact With My Teeth.