I Think When You're 25 You're Still

If You Decide To Do Comedy That Involves Risk, Risk Means Risk, And You Can't Complain Of Flesh Wounds If You Sit Down At The Table To Play.

One Of The Greatest Things My Therapist Said To Me ... And It Really Blew My Mind In The Greatest Way, He Just Said, "look In The Mirror Less."

Don’t Forget, God Can See You Masturbating. But Don’t Stop. He’s Almost There.

It's Just Hard To Say, "well, I Do This, Which Means This." If I'm Telling You Exactly Who I Am, Then There's Nothing For The Audience To Say.

I Buy Water At The Liquor Store Across The Street From Where I Live. So I'm Walking Into The Door, And Standing, Loitering, Outside The Door Is A Man. And I Walk By Him To Go In, And He Says, "i Want Pussy!" Now, I Don't Want To Seem Conceited Or Anything, But He Was Talking About Me!