I Think That For The Most Part,

I Had A Job As A Paralegal. I Drove A Cab.

I Never Thought For A Second That Anything I Ever Did Was Going To Make Someone Cringe. That Never Occurred To Me.

Hitler Really Ruined That Mustache For Everybody. It’s Really An Interesting Mustache, But Now, No One Can Wear It.

Women Love A Self-confident Bald Man.

When I Was Living In New York And Didn't Have A Penny To My Name, I Would Walk Around The Streets And Occasionally I Would See An Alcove Or Something. And I'd Think, That'll Be Good, That'll Be A Good Spot For Me When I'm Homeless.