I'm Trying To Elevate Small-talk To Medium

I Tolerate Lactose Like I Tolerate People.

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

The Best Situation Is Being A Single Parent. The Best Part About Is That You Get Time Off, Too, Because The Kids Are With Their Mom, So It's The Best Of Both Worlds. There's A Lot To Be Said For It.

My Defensiveness In Life Really Helps Me As A Driver.

Until I Started Doing Standup, There Were Some Very Bleak Days.