I Think If I Took Therapy, The

I Cannot Tell A Joke. But I Can Do A Situation, That It Becomes A Joke.

Asians Are Nice People, But They Burn A Lot Of Shirts.

When Someone Says To Me, Do You Do Stand-up I Say Absolutely Not. I Like To Think Of It As A Theatrical Performance. With Me The Show Changes Maybe Five To Ten Percent Every Night. Of Course, Whatever I See In Front Of Me And Sometimes I Get On A Little Run About It And It Changes The Show. And My Delivery Is Such That People Who Have Seen Me Many Times Say Gee, I Never Heard That Before. Actually, They Have, But I Might Have Changed It Around.

Hell, Do I Remember The First Joke? I Was Never A Jokester.

Everything I Do On Stage, I Made Up In Saloons. I Started Doing It In Front Of People, And That Became My Performance. I Never Had Writers.