List of Evan Esar Quotes

Divorce Is The Key That Opens The Strongbox Where The Bonds Of Matrimony Are Kept Under Wedlock.

Some People Worry Because They Are In Debt; Others, Because They Can't Even Get In.

Las Vegas Is A Resort Whose Two Chief Sources Of Income Are Seven And Eleven.

Lecturers Should Remember That The Capacity Of The Mind To Absorb Is Limited To What The Seat Can Endure.

A Lecturer Often Makes You Feel Dumb At One End And Numb At The Other.

The State Of The Union Largely Depends On The State Of The Unions.

A Husband May Forget Where He Went On His Honeymoon, But He Never Forgets Why.

The Only Way To Cure An Egotist From Bragging Is By Surgery--amputation At The Neck.

There Is Nothing More Dignified Than A Corpse.

Man Is The Control Experiment Of Heredity And Environment; And Since His Heredity Controls Him, He Tries To Control His Environment.

Charm Is To A Woman What Perfume Is To A Flower.

Many An Actor Does The Stage More Ham Than Good.