With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent

I Can't Understand Why I Flunked American History. When I Was A Kid There Was So Little Of It.

My Major Contribution To The Format Was To Suggest That I Be Able To Step Out Of The Plot And Speak Directly To The Audience, And Then Be Able To Go Right Back Into The Action. That Was An Original Idea Of Mine; I Know It Was Because I Originally Stole It From Thornton Wilder's Play Our Town.

There's Nothing Wrong With Making Love With The Light On. Just Make Sure The Car Door Is Closed.

If I Paid Ten Dollars For A Cigar, First I'd Make Love To It, Then I'd Smoke It.

In Those Days The Best Painkiller Was Ice; It Wasn't Addictive And It Was Particularly Effective If You Poured Some Whiskey Over It.