With The Collapse Of Vaudeville New Talent

I Like Women To Be Attracted To Me. See, When You Get 60 Years Old, And They Know You're 60, The Only Women You Can Get Are 55-year-old Women, And I Like Younger Women.

Happiness? A Good Cigar, A Good Meal, A Good Cigar And A Good Woman - Or A Bad Woman; It Depends On How Much Happiness You Can Handle.

Happiness Is Having A Large, Loving, Caring, Close-knit Family In Another City.

I Use The Cigar For Timing Purposes. If I Tell A Joke, I Smoke As Long As They Laugh And When They Stop Laughing I Take The Cigar Out Of My Mouth And Start My Next Joke.

I'd Rather Be Over The Hill Than Under It.