I Saw This Wino, He Was Eating

I'm An Ice Sculptor. Last Night I Made A Cube.

So, I Sit At The Hotel At Night And I Think Of Something That's Funny. Or, If The Pen Is Too Far Away, I Have To Convince Myself That What I Thought Of Wasn't Funny.

Mr. Pibb Is A Poor Imitation Of Dr. Pepper. Dude Didn't Even Get His Degree.

Pepperidge Farm Bread. That's Fancy Bread. You Can Tell It's Fancy Because It's Wrapped Twice. You Open It, And It Still Isn't Open. That's Why I Don't Buy It. I Don't Need Another Step Between Me And Toast.

I'm Into Carpooling, Because Sometimes My Car Gets Hot And Needs To Refresh Itself.