I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching

With Wives, Men Hide Behind The Air Of Bravado, Which Is Basically A Defence Mechanism, I Think. Clever Creatures, Women. Very Clever.

I Saw Six Men Kicking And Punching The Mother-in-law. My Neighbour Said 'are You Going To Help?' I Said 'no, Six Should Be Enough.'

I Was Sat At The Bottom Of The Garden A Week Ago, Smoking A Reflective Cheroot, Thinking About This And That - Mostly That, And I Just Happened To Glance At The Night Sky And I Marvelled At The Millions Of Stars Glistening Like Pieces Of Quicksilver Thrown Carelessly Onto Black Velvet. In Awe I Watched The Waxen Moon Ride Across The Zenith Of The Heavens Like An Amber Chariot Towards The Void Of Infinite Space Wherein The Tethered Bolts Of Jupiter And Mars Hang Forever In Their Orbital Majesty; And As I Looked At All This, I Thought, 'i Must Put A Roof On This Lavatory.

My Mother-in-law's So Fat That When She Passes Her Handbag From Hand To Hand She Throws It.

The Wife's Mother Said, ‘when You're Dead, I'll Dance In Your Grave.’ I Said: ‘good, I'm Being Buried At Sea’.