I Once Spent A Year In Philadelphia,

I Never Smoked A Cigar In My Life Until I Was Nine

It's What You Do That Counts And Not What You Say; Therefore I Fired My Press Agent.

I Have A Poor Memory For Names; But I Seldom Remember A Face.

I'd Take A Bromo, But I Can't Stand The Noise.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.