I Normally Don't Do Requests. Unless, Of

I Do Not Have A Single White Note On My Piano; My Elephant Smoked Too Much.

One Afternoon, When I Was Four Years Old, My Father Came Home, And He Found Me In The Living Room In Front Of A Roaring Fire, Which Made Him Very Angry. Because We Didn't Have A Fireplace.

I Only Know Two Pieces; One Is 'clair De Lune' And The Other One Isn't.

When I Was A Little Boy And Played Liebestraum, My Father Used To Hit Me On The Head With A Newspaper Every Time I Slopped The Cadenza . . . I Hate Liebestraum.

The Conductor Is A Peculiar Person. He Turns His Back On His Friends In The Audience, Shakes A Stick At His Players In The Orchestra, And Then Wonders Why Nobody Loves Him.