I Never Worry About Being Driven To

I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen The Way It Rusts Pipes?

I Have Been In The Entertainment Business Some Forty-three Years, And I Have Never Said Anything Detrimental Or Anything That Might Be Construed As Belittling Any Race Or Religion. I Would Be A Sucker To Do So Because You Can't Insult The Customers.

Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It May Have Been Poisoned.

Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I Do.

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.