I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

Remember, Lady Godiva Put All She Had On A Horse And She Lost Her Shirt!

I Never Voted For Anybody. I Always Voted Against.

Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off Drinking; It's Easy. I've Done It A Thousand Times.

I Would Rather Be Living In Philadelphia.