I Met My Wife On A Ferry

You Know I Could Rent You Out As A Decoy For Duck Hunters?

She Got Her Looks From Her Father. He's A Plastic Surgeon.

I Think You've Got Something There, But I'll Wait Outside Until You Clean It Up.

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

I'm Going To Iowa For An Award. Then I'm Appearing At Carnegie Hall, It's Sold Out. Then I'm Sailing To France To Be Honored By The French Government - I'd Give It All Up For One Erection.