I Mean, I've Always Had Scattered Interests,

People Don't Understand That That's Really What It Is. They're Looking For A Magic Phone Number Or Something. And To A Certain Extent, I Understand That, Because Comedy Is Treated So Much As A Stepping Stone By A Lot Of People.

If You See Me At A Restaurant, Blow Me A Kiss, Wave, Blow Me Another Kiss, Then Walk Five Steps Backward.

I've Had Shows Where You Think, "is This Going Well? I Can't Tell," And Then You Say Goodnight And You Get This Ovation. They're Sorta Like A Theater Audience. I've Learned That Much; That They're Not Always Going To Be Doing Backflips - But I'll Never Figure It Out. Because Sometimes You Walk Up There, And They're So Excited, And Then Other Times, It's Just... But Sometimes An Audience Is Bad, And You Can Tell Them They're Bad, And That Sort Of Breaks The Ice A Bit.

I Like Cilantro, But You Don't Have To.

I Like Pens. My Writing Is So Amazing There's Never A Need To Erase