I Do Not Like Sports, Unless You

I Think People Have This "it Can't Hurt To Ask" Mentality, Which Is True On Some Level. I Get Comics Like, "hey, Will You Look At These Videos Of Me On Myspace?" I Was Like, "well, Who's Gonna Benefit From That? What If I Don't Like You?" No, I'm Gonna Write To A Stranger And Say, "hi. You Like Me, And I Don't Like You. And Now I Feel Bad When I Didn't Need To Feel Bad, Because You Put Me On The Spot." Or Like, "can I Open For You?" Well, I've Never Seen You Work, So No. I Certainly Made Awkward Mistakes When I Was Starting Out, And They're Just Trying To Have A Career.

I Do Not Like Sports, Unless You Consider Treating All Humankind With Love And Respect A Sport.

I Don't Feel I'm Even Worthy Of A Normal Amount Of Value.

I Haven't Done A Lot In London. I Think Comedy Over There Is How It Was Over Here Years Ago. There's Tons Of It, And They're Better Paid.

I Mean, I've Had Bartenders And Waiters And Waitresses Make A Comment About A Joke Of Mine, Like Pointing Out Some Sort Of Logic Error Or Something That I've Never Even Thought About, And They're Right.