I May Be Middle Class, But I'm

The Reason Old Man Use Viagra Is Not That They Are Impotent. It's That Old Women Are So Very Ugly.

A Lady With A Clipboard Stopped Me In The Street The Other Day. She Said, 'can You Spare A Few Minutes For Cancer Research?' I Said, 'all Right, But We Won't Get Much Done.'

I Live Near A Remedial School. There Is A Sign That Says, Slow... Children. That Can't Be Good For Their Self Esteem. But Look Of Course On The Positive Side, They Can't Read It.

If I'm At Home For The Weekend - And That Is Almost Never - I Tend To Get Twitchy At About Eight O'clock In The Evening Because My Body Clock Is Timed To Go On Stage. I Don't Know What To Do With Myself.

I Was A Christian. I Didn't Want To Have Sex Before Marriage, I Was A Bit Uptight And Not Very Self-confident. I Was A Virgin Until I Was 26.